effity eff

So I am off the South Beach diet. I am indulging in cupcakes again. This is me emotionally eating again. And I am noticing the effect on my mood and body - sluggish and irritable. My boss is driving me crazy - so hung up in numbers. I have asked to be cut down to 32 hours at the beginning of the year and now he wants fucking numbers to back up what day I want off even though we didn't do any of this when trying to figure out which day my co-worker would take off when she came back from maternity leave at reduced hours. grrrr. I did go to the gym tonight, only because I missed yoga cuz I was staring at my damn computer. I really do need to use timers when dealing with screens. I am Wondering how the hell I am going to manage 2 weeks of having my cousin here. He is young and his own family is fed up with him and he could be my client if he wasn't my family and I just hope he doesn't end up being both. I have new neighbors moving in upstairs this weekend as well.

Ok focus. One of my colleagues is looking to run the Rock-n-Roll marathon here in Seattle next June and I may have a new running buddy for long runs! That would be cool! I am finally getting motivated to do something with my 3 lacking retirement accounts. I collect them like I do pint glasses. None of these ones have very much money in them so I am hoping to roll them all together and get something I can borrow against for the goats. I am missing goats this week. Got to babysit the boys last weekend and that was good. Get to take Riley out for his birthday outing on Saturday - my cousin had to come in late enough that I could do that.

The best news is that my father is giving me a significant amount of money to start the business and that takes a big weight off - now I just have to get cracking on getting shit done. I decided last weekend not to go to Spokane for a beerfest - wanting to save money, wasn't feeling great and really the only reasons for going were to have a road trip and to see the bartender I crush on but with whom there is really no chance of anything more than that. I'll have to do a road trip some other time. The guy I am "sort of seeing" doesn't act like a boyfriend and even though that is really what I want - a partner - I haven't stopped seeing him primarily because of the sex. Which is damn good. I am still pissy over the other guy running off to another state to be with another woman. I just don't get it. I am scared going into this goat thing all by myself and yet I feel like it is something so totally my own.

I feel like I am never getting enough done on any given day to feel like I am making progress on anything.